Walking...

I have lived totally - as the only way to know the self or forget it. I’ve felt the feet fearful and excited as they walked without a destination, knowing only that the present was a minefield that had to be traversed. So I’d walked into the darkness on the air, riding the breeze of a dreamy desire… Yes, I risked things. I was young and put my heart at the altar of an unknown god. That was the condition you see, only by putting your heart there would you know the god from the false gods… and so I lost many pieces of my heart… bit by bit… but it still beats… and many of the parts that were crushed by the false gods, bitten off by the wolves, they grew again and yes, it beats yet…

This electric tingle that can be felt if you sit quiet in the room where I wrote poems, is from the moments where I dared to let the storms come. Yes, there are broken bricks and cinders, where an angry dash of lightning fell… but it lit some things too… a gentle fire for instance that holds light and warmth burning there in the corner of the room where I wrote so many poems… not everyone sees it, but it doesn’t matter.

Will something more bloom or this the journey’s end… not death but a stop as if in a station where the train never arrives? 

No this not a complaint… it is the a story of someone who took a train not knowing where to land… but knowing that a train had to be taken and   maybe, maybe you’ll find the destination… It matters little now… perhaps there is no destination, nowhere particular to land.  Sometimes the scenes outside are not beautiful, sometimes the compartment is empty,  or full of people who speak languages that mean nothing to you. 

I speak as one on the train yet and though all the scenes are not my liking and though I can say nothing of destinations, I’m glad I took the train…

Can I force eternity to speak to me? Can I look at the window and ask the darkness to unfold a question or a dull gaze and become a living story?  Perhaps I can ask but don’t know if the there will be answers... we can but ask, we can but walk, we can but move in starry wonder… knowing that the heart may be crushed at the altar of false gods, that the train may lead nowhere, that darkness may forever remain dark... but to take a step forward, that is for us to do and in that lies our freedom our adventure of being human.